About breaching trust, once again
In u008 An has accused us of leaking stuff we know from DMs with her in public not just there (we’ve proven it to be false accusation, btw) but multiple times in the past, without precising what the other cases were about. We have found only one thing that she could have in mind though – possibly revealing her nationality in the chat.
For some context, An told us in DM that she didn’t tell anyone that she’s from Poland. She hasn’t explicitly asked us to never tell anyone.
DeepL translation:
We didn’t tell anyone but we are also from Poland but live in England.
When we are discussing critical thinking or its lack in tulpamancers, An says that wherever she goes, people get more critical-minded approach to tulpamancy. I say that I’m going to invite her to Polish community next time I get stubborn enough to clean up mess there, replying to that. She admits that she’s already been there and she still can’t clear her shoes.
From my point of view, neither of us reveal her nationality here. We used to have some non-Polish speakers in Polish community (it was possible since most of young Poles know English), so me inviting her or her admitting that she’s already been there (as she has, we have interacted in a Polish server for a little while before we met in tulpa.info again), doesn’t really show her nationality. An doesn’t seem to be upset by that exchange either.
It’s hard to read as both our accounts here are deleted and messages are interlaced. I marked An’s messages blue and mine red. She didn’t say “I’m Polish” here but after reading that you’d assume she is Polish with very high probability. It isn’t something I’d say if I wanted to keep being a Pole a secret. It isn’t a hard proof of her being a Pole either.
Here it’s An who joked that both Ukrainians and Poles speak Russian. I asked her if it mean that she speaks Russian and she said that she can’t remember ever specifying her nationality publicly. I think my question was natural when she made a (false btw., Poles aren’t commonly taught Russian at school) claim about people from my country. And An’s statements in previous screenshot revealed her being a Pole much more than my question here.
I have found a short talk between me and An about the case of myself supposedly breaching her trust with the nationality case after a few months /
There are 3 deleted users here talking here. I marked my messages with red, An’s messages with blue, 3rd person’s messages with green and one message I couldn’t figure author of with gray.
A random deleted user shared results of a shitty psycho-test. An said that it’s weird that he got “mistrust 83%” and still shared the results. I replied to her that mistrust doesn’t look the same for different people and not all people who have problems with trust care about petty stuff like results of a psycho-test or their nationality.
An agrees with me, adding that trust is not about what is shared but about sharing something you believe the other person won’t share further without your permission. I replied that trust has even more forms and there are more reasons for people to feel betrayed. I also say that problems regarding trust are not connected to trivial secrets but tro inconsistency one can have with sharing secrets. I make a reference to An revealing her nationality first in the chat and then getting angry for me assuming it’s safe to talk about it since that moment.
An replies that if you said specifically “please don’t tell anyone” and the other person shares it regardless, it’s a breach of trust. She claims she can’t recall situation I’m talking about.
I agree that what An said was an example of a breach of trust and add that inconsistency in one’s behavior might make it easy for other person to breach one’s trust by mistake and no noticing it and then feeling betrayed by retaliation for something they have no idea about.
An encourages me to talk openly about specific example and I end up not doing it, fearing her getting angry again by breaching her privacy again.
The case of revealing An’s nationality was the only thing I can recall that she could have possible had in mind while accusing me of leaking stuff from our DMs multiple times.
There were three instances of An giving people a clue of her nationality and two instances of me doing that. None of us said in those instances that she’s Polish though and I’d argue that her talking about Poles having multi-generational traumas after WW2 could have been giving the most suspicion about her being Polish from those instances. In the end I feel the case is farfetched by me too. I couldn’t have found anything else that matches An’s accusations from e008 though and I was convinced that An wasn’t making them up… Today I wouldn’t be so sure.
I’m disappointed in both of us handling the argument mentioned last. Things like that should have been talked in DM.