Proxi asks about headpats and gets triggered
Shierudo asks me or Kanade if headpats are sexy. We deny it. Anubis asks Kanade for a headpat and Proxi encourages me to headpat him instead. Kanade says that she is a headpat monster, Proxi calls her gatekeeper. Kanade tells her that she can ask me for a headpats though as she isn’t getting them from Kanade anymore. Anubis is trying to give Proxi a headpat voucher from Kanade but she says that they are named. Proxi says that she has a no headpat policy. Kanade says that she has given Proxi a headpat voucher before and it’s invalidated already which Proxi seems to approve at start. Also, Kanade says that perverts who find headpats sexual (it’s directed to shierudo) won’t get her headpats either. Proxi suddenly accuses Kanade of harassing her for headpats for months and not taking no for an answer, calling Kanade a creep.
Aki asks Proxi if she was meaning that Kanade did all of those things, Proxi is asking if Kanade is too afraid to reply herself and feeling guilty. Aki says that Proxi hurt Kanade’s feelings, Proxi is threatening us to call mods next time we put her and headpats in one sentence, then accuses Kanade of harassment. Then she is minimizing Kanade’s feelings.
Kanade is trying to compromise by saying that she might have been too clingy in the past with headpat related stuff but she hasn’t done anything wrong today.
Original screenshots.
It’s Proxi who first started talking to Kanade about headpats, telling her to let me do the headpats too. To be fair, Kanade is a little mean to Proxi here, first saying that she won’t give her headpats and then that a voucher she has given her once has been invalidated. The fragment about perverts not getting headpats is directed at shierudo’s earlier question, not at Proxi.
It’s Proxi who says that Kanade harassed her for months with headpats and doesn’t take no for an answer. So far all of events included in the report state otherwise - Kanade has clearly complied to boundaries drawn by Proxi, contrary to what Proxi said here. It’s also Proxi who mentioned headpats to Kanade first and first have been slightly mean to her, calling Kanade a gatekeeper. Also, Proxi seems to have snapped after a message about perverts not receiving headpats which was directed at shierudo, not Proxi, rather than after a borderline offer on headpats from me. A borderline offer coming up after Proxi asked for me headpatting another user.
After the second message, Proxi says:
From now on I will be tagging mods whenever she put me and headpat in one sentence because I did ask her a hundred times so far not to associate me with that
With the latter part (from section about Kanade refusing to stop), she is exaggerating a bit and lying about having asked Kanade to not associate her with headpats at all. In se003 Proxi told us that she feel bad refusing headpats offers, not with joking about headpats related to her.
Nevertheless, Proxi has drawn stricter boundaries here. It went from “I don’t want you to impose your headpats on me” to “I don’t want you to associate me with headpats at all”. From this point in time, teasing Proxi with “no headpats for you” stuff clearly violates her boundaries. It’s okay that Proxi has drawn stricter boundaries, we have never shamed her for having them. But previous messages from Kanade cannot be stated as an evidence for violating boundaries drawn after that.
Proxi owning her boundaries doesn’t change the fact that in this event she:
- Insulted Kanade calling her a creep
- Lied about Kanade harassing her for headpats for months.
- Emotionally abused Kanade making her feel guilty.
- Minimized Kanade’s feelings